Fuck Art Let’s Climb


Article_Title Line Break_418pxBOON Magazine: Cabin Fever: Fuck Art, Lets Climb
Words: Dominic Knight

Article_Title Line Break_418px

Here is one to truly split me down the middle, with each foot firmly planted in opposing camps. It reads as thus…

SHOCK HORROR: Children climb on art!

First off we shall start with the opinion that this is some truly abhorrent moment captured on someone’s camera phone, depicting a small(ish) child resting on what appears to be an over elaborate set of bookshelves created by the artist Donald Judd, and according to whatever useless source you use for information, it’s roughly worth ten million US dollars.

There is nothing worse than bad parenting, and nowhere is it most despised, other than I assume places of worship, than in art galleries…although now I’ve put it like that, every place that a child is left to run around screaming and hitting whatever they fancy is likely to fall in the despise category – Busses, planes, trains, any modicum of public transport in fact.

Children, to a certain degree, should be bought up with an understanding of respect for others, an awareness of everything that surrounds them and at times, a clip round the ear.
This particular event comes under the category of respect for others. I would assume that these parents would not allow their spawn, when invited into a friends house, to run and jump all over their lovely cream furniture with faecal encrusted boots, so why on earth is it fine for them to use this expensive piece of art as a climbing frame?

They should be hung drawn and quartered, then shot, whilst the parents watch on in horror, then when it’s all over, have to sign a piece of paper promising never to raise such vile creatures again – #extremeviews #dailymail

Opposing argument:

We were all children, and like all children, completely fallible when it comes to just about everything. No matter how often you were told off, shouted at, whipped, buckled or submerged into the lake tied to a chair, you would always try and push that boundary just because. Once again, children should have discipline, but also, we need to remember what it is to be a child, because I know I did some bad shit just out of curiosity.

Although it is not right to allow your child to clamber on anything in sight, at the same time, why is it not ok for your beast of either sex to communicate with the supposed ‘culture’ in front of it in whatever way they see fit. How many times have you looked at a piece by Henry Moore and just wanted to climb and slide all over it. This doesn’t just stop for sculpture. The amount of heavily textured paintings that are screaming out to be caressed is insurmountable! Art shouldn’t just be about a mental connection, it can and should be a physical. And although I’m aware of the resulting damage – just like the years of hippies groping Stone Henge till they erected fences and horrible ropes, taking away any meaning that it once had to us as people – life is an ephemeral process. It would be nice if everything lasted forever and was always pristine and beautiful, but it is also worth remembering the fact that everything dies, so enjoy it while it’s here.

And as for the piece of art itself, if I still had my innocent mind, I would sure as hell climb it; besides, it looks like it’s from IKEA, and we all know IKEA is there so you can climb on everything in sight. As far as the sculpture being worth ten million dollars, in this day and age, that is what people should be complaining about. Compare that to the poverty in our country, with families being pushed out of their homes, with more and more taking to the streets and worse, that alone should be enough for us all to get up and clamber over every piece of shit contemporary sculpture that has been produced. The rest of the world is even worse off, but still, we shout loudest at a child being a child.

That said, the parents appear to be a pair of stuck up arseholes who think the sun shines out of every orifice in each of their well to do little children, in which case, flay the lot of them and let the Chapman brothers construct a piece of recycled art out of their rotting skin.

Don’t forget that art is only given worth once the person who created has worth attached to their name, so get off your pretentious high horse and check that your children are sat silently in front of the TV not daring to make a sound.


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